Seriously, all you need to do is just breathe. You don't need a pill, you don't need a cigarette, you don't need a drink, you don't need to eat so much. A lot of our stress and anxiety that comes from this world can be subsided by simply breathing. The Substitute is a healthy alternative to just about everything and will immediately reduce your stress, anxiety, depression, heart rate, blood pressure, insomnia, and digestion problems. It will also boost your energy level, increase your stamina, correct your posture, clear your mind, relieve pain and tension in the body. The Substitute is the ultimate accessory to have with you at all times to help mitigate the problems in your life in a positive way. There are no negative side effects, only a plethora of positive ones. Don't believe me, try it. Take three long inhales and exhales (even more if you can). Now I know that it seems counterintuitive to try to sell you a product that helps you breathe, something you can totally do on your own, but we do not generally consciously think about breathing. It happens automatically. But, when we channel our thoughts and focus on the breath, we become more aware, we become more conscious. Yes, I'd like to sell a million Substitutes to help people breathe easier, and teach people how to cope with their stress in a healthy way, but I'd appreciate it if you all would just start realizing the health benefits of breathing, and start the process of waking up. We have a lot of work to do and I'm just trying to recruit at the moment. The Substitute also serves as a pointer, thinking stick, hand occupier, back scratcher, hand smacker, ass slapper, dancing partner, private toucher, and yes, of course, a magic wand. Everything you think and say comes true. Focus your energy, your currency, raise your vibration, and just breathe.
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