| No better time to think about our relationships than as we approach Valentine's Day. For many who are in couples, this can be such a romantic and loving time of year, but we should not just be celebrating love only on one day. Relationships take time to nourish and evolve, they take dedication, and that can be such a beautiful thing. But both parties have to have the desire to go on the see saw of give and take, and though it should be a commitment to powering through life's complexities together, it can present its challenges. Therefore, when two people are there for each other to heal and grow, magic can happen. Finding someone to love and being loved in return by them is not necessarily easy, even with 8 billion people in the world, but it is important to keep your heart open. Just because a relationship has not worked out does not mean that it is a failure. Rather, it is recognizing that you both have attracted someone into your life to show you exactly what you need to work on and heal within yourself, to find wholeness within. Most people don't want to do the work- or they don't know how. But when we realize that we are always projecting onto our partners what we did not get in our childhood and that they are mirroring and reflecting back to us, true transformation can take place. And don't worry, if we didn't learn the lesson, The Universe will gladly give us someone else to try to teach us once again. We all have patterns, and they stem from our parents, where we learned what love is and how to give and receive love in return. Sadly, not all parents know how to love, but we can have gratitude and understand that they were just doing the best they could with the tools they had. This is where transforming ancestral trauma to not pass it on to the next generation comes in- this is the great work, to break the pattern. Some people stay in relationships simply because they do not want to be alone. Please don't make this mistake. It is better to be happy alone than to be miserable in a toxic relationship. Being single or being in a relationship with yourself is the longest one you'll ever have, so no better time than to love all over yourself. Celebrating another Valentine's Day is just another milestone to make more memories, but if it isn't serving you (or your partner for that matter), it may be time to cut the cord. They say if you love someone, let them go, and even though it can (and most likely will) be painful for one or both parties, better to get out before wasting any more of your/their precious time. This can be done consciously, meaning with grace and compassion for yourself and your partner. If you or someone you know needs help consciously uncoupling (or reconnecting for that matter), please consider scheduling a Chess Session or working with me long term. We can discuss your patterns and plan for a new future, full of love- whether that is together with your person or separately loving on yourself. Sooner or later, it will have to happen... |
|
|
